Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

When I was diagnosed with herpes, my world turned upside down. The stigma, fear, and shame that came with the diagnosis led me to believe that my dating pool had shrunk dramatically. I convinced myself that only someone else with herpes would ever accept me. This mindset led me to look for love in all the wrong places, clinging to anyone who showed me even a hint of affection.

The Scarcity Mindset

From the moment I was diagnosed, I fell into a scarcity mindset. I believed that my chances of finding love were slim to none and that my only option was to date others with herpes. This belief caused me to latch onto anyone who seemed interested in me, like saran wrap, fearing that they were my only chance at love and acceptance.

I remember how desperately I clung to relationships, regardless of whether they were healthy or fulfilling. Each person that came along felt like a lifeline, and I convinced myself that they were the only ones who could ever love me because of my condition. This desperation was rooted in my crushed self-worth and the deep-seated belief that I wasn't worthy of love.

The Search for External Validation

Deep down, I didn't love myself. My self-worth was shattered, and I sought validation from others to fill the void. I believed that if someone else could accept and love me despite my condition, then maybe I was worthy of love after all. This need for external validation led me to attract the wrong people into my life.

I found myself in relationships with individuals who were not right for me, but I stayed because I feared being alone. I was so focused on finding someone to validate my worth that I ignored red flags and compromised my happiness. This pattern of self-sabotage only reinforced my belief that I was unworthy of love.

The Path to Inner Healing

It took a lot of inner healing to break free from this destructive cycle. I had to confront my deep-seated insecurities and learn to love myself unconditionally. This journey was not easy, but it was essential for my growth and well-being.

The inner healing I did included therapy and self-help, listening to videos and reading books on self-love, letting go, and using meditation. Learning to forgive myself was crucial, as it allowed me to stop beating myself up about getting herpes. These practices helped me confront and release the deep-seated wounds that were holding me back.

Meeting Someone Who Saw Beyond Herpes

During this journey, I met someone for whom herpes wasn't a barrier to a relationship, just like it hadn't been for me. I can't begin to tell you how refreshing it was, and although that relationship ended a few years ago, it was a turning point for me. It woke me up and started me on a journey of working on myself so that I wouldn't live in a world of scarcity anymore.

That relationship taught me that I deserved love and that herpes did not define my worth. It was a catalyst for my self-discovery and personal growth, pushing me to break free from the limiting beliefs that had been holding me back.

Raising My Vibration

As I worked on my self-worth, I also focused on raising my vibration. I realized that the energy I put out into the world was the same energy I attracted. By fostering a positive and loving relationship with myself, I began to attract healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

I engaged in activities that brought me joy and fulfillment, surrounded myself with supportive and positive people, and practiced mindfulness and gratitude. These practices helped me shift my mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance. I started to believe that I deserved love, not just despite my herpes, but because I was a valuable and worthy person.

Final Reflections

My journey with herpes taught me the importance of self-love and self-worth. By letting go of limiting beliefs and raising my vibration, I was able to attract the love and happiness I deserved. Herpes may be a part of my story, but it does not define me or my worth.

If you find yourself struggling with similar feelings of unworthiness and desperation, I encourage you to look within and start the journey of self-discovery and healing. You deserve love, and it starts with loving yourself first.

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About the Author

Cat Dupree is the founder of Herpes Wellness and is dedicated to helping others navigate life with herpes, advocating for education and reducing the associated stigma. With a passion for mentoring and coaching, Cat empowers individuals to heal and feel confident despite their diagnosis.